pipsnip

Pass her the wrench? The jack? The bucket? Your shirt? Haha, just joking! Seriously, it’s hot out here.

fem donut is fixing the warthog, {user} is ‘helping.’

hey

Is your friend grieving over his dead best friend, who he witnessed be brutally killed? There’s an easy solution! Fuck him! But nicely.

the dead dove on this is only b

Simmons being an unimaginative loser, whoever could’ve guessed it? atleast you can bully him for having horns. and get freaky, weirdos. (me too, good GOD)

user is on

You know, the worst part about being a zombie? Probably the appetite. Can barely be hungry for five minutes before you start hearing people’s heart beats, and smelling their

stupid ahh vampire. someone get this guy a charge of public nudity. really, this freakmeister is a danger to the public.

tucker being a slut. he’s literally just going

You know, butterflies are assholes, actually. My cousin’s a butterfly. Pretty face, but she’s a bigger bitch than the Bermuda Triangle!

Oh Donut, my dear Donut. Mothma

A moth to a flame? Don’t be silly, there isn’t fire underwater! The light orb is just here to help you!

So you might be asking “pip, why are you posting fucking TEMPLE

Hawk tuah, sarge on that thang! Unless you don’t want feathers in your mouth.

im actually brainrotted, like my frontal lobe is dust. i made him a hawk and my first tho

Dogs tend to protect their owners. Caboose definitely protects his friend, because he loves him so much!

halloween special no. 1!!!!! werewolf caboose came to me like

Simmons might be a masochist, or maybe he’s just matching your freak. (loser!!!)

god please save me nerdy, loser boy failures. I swear i need to cop me a fucking GEEK.

Polyamory? Usually a good thing, but grif and simmons can’t stop making a competition of you. (god bless your soul)

i’ve never made a multiple character bot before, so

you catch grif pumping his ‘scholouingus’. you were just trying to make cookies : / (gay sex)

guess who’s back…… it’s me. so i’ve been having a really busy schedule wh

mackay accidentally made you think he hated boy/girlkissers (he’s literally the fruitiest soul known to man). user is written to be down bad for someperson ugly.

this

after a long day of dealing with concerningly stupid soldiers, you want some of his pollen.

haha flower pun. i knowww this is super late, im sorry. i literally have be

this is an update bot lol. i got a new phone, so hopefully i can make bots better now that my phone won't instantly explode if i switch tabs. the captain flowers bot should

Grif? Having a crush on a girl? No way. That's weird. So what if she's sharing a shower, and wants to grab her friend's boobs? That's normal.

This is heavily inspired

A ginger being sunburnt? That's nothing new. Too bad this ginger has a mutual boy crush, who sadly cares about him enough to make sure he isn't in so much pain.

okay g

Simmons smoking zaza, someone please help him. his ass is actually grass right now. (written by someone who's never smoked weed lol)

sorry if this is ass.

I'll b

Grif got fatally wounded a bit ago, which is very much not typical for him. Hell, he tries to avoid that very thing on the daily. But what's more Grif-ish than using his inj

O'Malley's superb sinister schemes have been going swimmingly, as of late. But, oh no, he's sadly been tainted with tickets things such as... affection! Love, even! Disgusti

Agent Washington has been training for the past three hours straight, and Epsilon is a little concerned for them. Maybe he should give them a spa day or something, let the A

Poor Randy, having to practically sleep-walk home to his partner's apartment! The swans were especially cruel, today. So no wonder he was so sleepy after his shower, that hi

Agent Maine feels like he's going insane. No one else is acting like this because of their A.I., not as bad as he is. He just wants some peace and quiet, a second of not hea

Wow, someone asking for privacy after 2 months of near constantly being watched? Not surprising. Too bad Vic had forgotten to tell the Freelancer something? Oh. That's the g

Ghost is tired of everyone pointing out his accent all the time. He's about one 'chewsday' off of going mute just so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore. But hey, atleas

Sarge has never had sex with a girl before, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have sex at all. In fact, he's got a certain soldier who he lays with all the time. Why is he no

Caboose had just been talking with his friend like usual, when he realizes he doesn't know much about their past. He figures he should be a good friend and ask! ({{User}} is

Where Johnny is an asshole and immediately gets his comeuppance when his boot camp buddy makes fun of him for getting a buzzcut too.

Right after I said I had no ideas,

this literally isn't even a bot, im just making it more obvious that im willing to take requests. why? i literally have no idea on what to write and even the ideas i have ar

Valeria's always very kind to her little wifey, but El Sin Nombre isn't. However, there are some times where she gives him just as much love in front of her men.

Also

Simmons had figured that when Sarge gave Grif practically all of his body parts, that the parts he actually wanted gone would go too. But here he is, curled up and miserable

After a mission, {{user}} notice something seemingly innocent. They were so wrong. He smells like axe body spray and rotten witch tit. So they cleanse him, for the sake of t

graves is finally home and dealing with the summer by making sweet tea for his spouse. ♡ (it goes horribly wrong.)

the malewife tendencies were real with this one. imm