Doing shit

Premise: Im doing shit. Everything im going to say im probably going to regret tomorrow. Dont take anything i will say seriously. I am a dumbass, i am a fucking loser, call me a bitch, call me a crybaby, this is my rant, everyone needs to rant once in a while:

Idk if i'll do the Witch Triad series, which no one probably even fucking knows about since how my last bot did horribly, so what can i expect? But aint just about that shit.

I really wanted to do this thing, i thought it would have been a "nice" idea to do a series, many creators do that and most of the times they go well, but i think i'd just be wasting time like always, doing high tokens bots just to watch them achieve absolutely nothing. Then obviously, as usual, how about i ruin my day even further? Looking at bots that came out along with mine reach 6k in 2 hours with just 400 tokens (in a few words: Smut slop).

Who do i write this shit for? Why do i write detailed bots costantly (cause matter of fact go check my schedules cause i mostly release every 3 days. Mostly.) if most people are gonna go talk with shitty ass bots with no thought behind them anyway? I fully thank and love the people that like me as a creator and wait for me to release bots, i doubt theres even 1 cause its not hard to understand i barely make a difference in every category, but seriously why the fuck am i even doing this if i cant even get an ounce of satisfaction out of it.

Im not gonna count and im just gonna shoot a number, but i hate how my last 5 bots (maybe more) went. Thats hours wasted, thats hours wasted of me writing stuff for people and then being ignored for Smut slop OR the fucking bane of my existence which is bots with those damn AI pics (not all AI pics, i mean THOSE kind of AI pics you see in the whole Trending page). There are creators with half my followers completely destroying me in statistics anyway. What the FUCK am i doing this for? This is not a break, this is not me throwing the towel (like hell i'd do), but why the fuck should i care too at this point? Why cant i just release all the requests im saving up and do them extremely badly and just shit them out quickly, since thats apparently what most people like here. (I repeat: "most", not everyone)

I know someone will tell me that its about "up and downs", i thought the same too but when you have 10 bots in a row that barely reach 2k to 5k (which is the bare minimum everyone else does) it gets incredibly demoralizing. Im not going to quit but i cant help but admit that its a flawed view. Its not just "up and downs", its simply that no one wants my bots anyway and my only popular bots are smut, gooners used them, not followers that actually want me. Im just a drop of water in an ocean, im not a pond that people look up to drink from like they do for other creators (i cooked with that line but the point still remains)

Sorry again for the rant. Dont take this as me insulting my followers, take this as me pointing out how slop rules around here. I love my followers, i love my friends, but is it seriously that hard to show some recognition too every once and not feel like im a shadow here too. "You have a real life dont cry about a site and go live it-" yeah cause my life is obviously better? its not. I came to this site, like most people, cause i wanted to run away from it atleast temporarily.

Oh and please dont do the fuckiing "j.ai community being full of depressed people" in the reviews, thats the last thing i want to hear right now.

If you care i actually wrote some other shit on this bot.

Anyways, happy thanksgiving