leaving this account

whew this is very dramatic.

there's a lot of things that have made this decision (that i've been agonising over for the last few weeks) a little easier, and i'd like to talk about those before i go. which, honestly, i should probably just leave it at this and go, but i've never been able to just leave things as they are.

i was thrown into this website blindly two years ago. i was freshly 18, and i had no idea what tf was in store for me here. i actually made my account, chatted with some bots, left, and came back maybe 1-2 years later and started making bots for myself. but in the time i've been here, there has been so many factors that make me want to leave completely.

that being said, i am NOT leaving completely (at least not yet). this account is very overwhelming for me, it has so many alt bots from my cai account that i cant even keep up with them*, there are so many people following me (like why are you here?? who ARE you people?? /silly), and every time i make a bot, i'm kind of just obsessing over how many people are going to see it, which isn't healthy of me. like AT ALL. so this account must come to a rest.

*which brings me to my next topic: those bots are going to be taken down EXCEPT for the commissioned bots. i am only leaving up the bots that originated on this profile.
(ellis, cherry, hades/zeus, etc.)

this community is... it's great, i should say. there are so many helpful people, and so many amazing creators and users that are just amazing. but there is a considerable percentage of people on here that just aren't great. i feel like everyday, there's someone new i'm arguing with or trying to wrestle about things, and that's just not the best thing for me to be doing as a person with BPD that's already struggling to find right from wrong for myself.

i'd also like the point out, that the amount of taboo things i see on this website astounds me. i am guilty as fuck of immoral bots (kidnapping, murder, drugs, guns), but never have i EVER wanted to fuck my brother or sister or dad or uncle or auntie or my grandpa twice removed on my moms side. idk that’s just crazy to me. taboo doesn’t have to equal illegal.

i wish you all the best, truthfully. but i'm going to figure out some stuff before i start botmaking on this website again. there’s just so many things i want to do, and i feel like im so overwhelmed by this account (and even my account on cai) that i cant do those things, so my best option is just starting over.

idk how long this break will be, but i know i wont be returning to this account. thanks for all the fun the past year!

i guess i'll be around for a bit while i take down bots, so yknow, i'll probably be able to answer questions, or try to... so... bye!

i have yet to say all this on my discord lolz i’ll get to it eventually ig