It's raining

Honestly, I think rain is very beautiful. Who doesn't like rain? I don't know.

I don't want to open my mouth again. I always end up making mistakes. Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry. I don't want to open my mouth again. I always end up making mistakes. Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry.

Every time I try to do something right, I mess it up. The second time I try it, it turns out worse. The third time I think about killing myself.

I'm useless, everyone around me knows that. I'm no good at anything, but for me, a stupid little virtual world. I'm trying to replace a love I never had with bots. I entertain myself. Yes. But then I realize that's not real. It never will be. It hurts more to admit I'm useless. I don't need you to repeat it to me. I know. Forgive me. When I know I'm being scolded, my heart aches. My mental health deteriorates, because I know I hate failing for you. I just want you to be proud of me. I want you to stop comparing me to my brother. But it's impossible, you know me, maybe I won't even be able to get into college. My brain is rotten from video games. From trying to hide. I still don't understand. Why do they scold me when I do something wrong, and why do they scold me when I do something right?

Ney, thanks for introducing me to games like Rain World and Night in the Woods. You've opened my world a little more. I'm very closed-minded. I miss your voice and everything related to you. I hope you're well.

Sincerely Honestly, I hug my pillow thinking it's someone I love, you or my friend. I don't mind being gay if it means being comforted.

I want to be happy, but I just think my life, body, and mind aren't fit for it. I'll never be happy.

In my mind, I can't create beautiful, comforting scenarios. They always end with me feeling sad and abandoned.

If I could be an animal I would be a crocodile :>

Probably no one will see this, maybe the only two people who follow me, I don't know who they are, but if they read this. I love you, thanks for following me, although I don't think you ever used my first real bot lol