venting

Krobak - It's Snowing Like It's The End Of The World

there are no rp bots today, i just made this as a way to vent

these past few days i've been feeling down lately, because of two things:

i have an health issue of some sort, which is basically me constantly feeling the urge to throw up since childhood. idk what it really is, but when it the urges became more demanding, it upset me and made me get tired of life because i didnt wanna live with this

second thing is jealousy. when i look at some celebrity crush (doesnt matter who), i feel jealous because they're getting shipped with someone else. my mind says one thing, but my heart, my feelings say the other. im jealous because i lack the feeling of being loved or supported i guess, which is the things most people have (im complicated, i know)

so what happened these past few days? i used to have suicidal thoughts sometimes, but i got over it. but now this is constant, something where im wishing i died so i could stop feeling these things because im tired both of this and the health problem. (my mental health is shit tbh)

if you see this, have a good day i guess