A proper apolgies for my followers

🤓☝️ I felt like I had to do this for the past few days, but now, I think the guilt on my back has finally gained enough weight for me to explain that.. I did many things wrong, and I really have to apolgize and try to explain what has happened, I don't intend to victimize myself, specially because if I say 'This isn't Totally my fault!', I know it isn't true, and some of my old followers will also notice that I'm just saying bullshit, plus this is a PROPER APOLOGY, nosense if I don't make it... Proper?

And plus I don't want this to be too negative, I'll probably joke there and there, but this mainly a serious post.

Also, there's a TL;DR in the very end of this incase you want to how a quick explanation of everything

And yeah, this is very random, but Idgaf

Why did I suddendly dissapeared for months, came back and acted like it was normal?

I really have a problem with saying my personal problems, because well, who cares about them, honestly? But I think I can safely say this without remorse.

Before I was gone, I was diagnosed with depression, which I was pretty be able to notice because I was way sadder and stuff, but my family didn't notice it, because well, I had to pretend I wasn't depressed and stuff, my parents really think I'm the 'Perfect child with no problems whatsover', since I was also diagnosed with Autism, they pretty much neglected me because of that. They REALLY didn't want to accept the fact that their son (me) had some few screws loose, I noticed that when I talked about it and the possibility of my autism they really got disgusted and tried to convice me that I didn't have it and it was all from my head..

.. Okay, what does this have to do with my depression? Well, they got WAY more angrier when they found I had depression, they thought it was a joke and I somehow 'faked' it (I'm pretty stupid to fake documents and stuff.. Idk how they thought that but sure!), they did not want to help me and treat my problems, they just argued with me and didn't buy the medications (Le drugs UwU) to help me fight it and instead made it a lot worse, to the point the cut'd my therapy out. Plus I didn't have friends (And I'll still at the roundy 0 friends, lol) that I could talk too, and plus I wouldn't vent to people on tiktok, that's super duper cringeuhh!!!

NICE, ALL EXPLAINED, back to Janitor.Ai and my death, it was all too much for me, I was too weepy and stuff to even get out of bed, all I wanted was to scroll on tiktok, hoping that I would get better, but that was my second mistake, my mental health really got worse. To the point I genuinely stopped caring about anything, even y'all, who are honestly the closest people that I have, even without talking with y'all once. I decided to leave and say nothing, I didn't want people to worry about me either, I had like, 500~ ish followers back then, would ANY of them care? Probably not, there are many bot creators that did way better bots and were faster than mine.

You could say that my excuse is this whole fight, which is mainly the reason, but it is my fault for leaving without any warnings, I'm sorry.

Not checking older bots, fixing them or not replying to comments often

This thing definetely has no excuses that I can use lol, the main problem is the fact that.. I cringe at myself and my creations. I really feel ashamed by doing furry smut bots, because honestly, would you even be friends with someone that had no friends and made gay furries at a Porno AI website? That's very shameful, even for me.

I physically CAN'T look at my older bots without thinking: "Jeez, wtf was I on?", I had fun making them, but after some days it felt like I made something embarassing, uploaded to the internet and thought it'd be great.

And also I'm pretty fearful of 'Bad Reviews', not ones like: 'This bot talks for me- ;-;' or 'Ew, zoophile!!', but ACTUAL bad reviews, I feel so sad that I can't even provide enough for my own followers, making bad bots? Sad-duh.

I can check bots that aren't Furries, like Taoqi and Jinxian, but other than that I