My insanity

Hello, it's me again. I posted a bot today and I'll delete it later (this isn't about X-tan). But I'd like to explain what I mean.

I struggle with depression, but no one believes it anyway. I've been prescribed medication by a psychiatrist and I'm feeling worse and worse. Nothing's getting better, nothing. Even when I wasn't taking medication, I felt better than now, but oh well... making bots is my only hobby because I have nothing to do this summer anyway, and I keep doing it over and over again. There's one problem: the popularity of my bots. When I post a bot and I look at it for an hour and see there are fewer than 100 messages, I just say, "Why isn't this growing?" Other botmakers, an hour and they already have over 1,000 messages, blah blah. It makes me feel worse, but I don't want to admit it, but my mind won't let me rest. I'm simply addicted to virtual numbers. And I feel like I'm trapped here because I can't leave this page forever. I just keep coming back and forth.

"Why am I not like the others?" I don't know. Maybe I don't deserve it.

Okay, I'm going to sleep until tomorrow or Thursday. I don't know what bot to make because I'm as dumb as a rock.