Update - Let’s Talk!

Preface—no, I’m probably not quitting. Before anyone gets sad and jumps to assumptions, haha.

It’s just been difficult for me, as of late, to participate in anything creative, especially this site. There’s been long breaks between bots, a lot of my older bots have been privated (none of them have been deleted. They’re all just privated), and I’ve been debating whether to drop the hobby all together. I mean, I came back a couple days I came back from hiatus and the site crashed, then I posted again and got low numbers (other creators will understand the sentiment) it’s like… a sign (oooOOoooh!)

So, I’m going to go ahead and address some stuff here. Starting with the negative, and ending with the positive.

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐒:

You’ve probably noticed over the past few months that a lot of my bots, older ones especially, have disappeared. Again, none of them are deleted. I have bots from when I first started last year, that are collecting dust in my “My Characters” page.

Raise your hand if you remember Abel Bates or Harvey Elwoods. 🙋

Why are they privated? Because I said so

Because of the way I feel about my own creative work. I have some pretty bad rumination tendencies (cough cough, compulsions)—about random stuff, random events, and my own creations. Once I get a thought that ‘this is bad’, I’ll send myself into a stupor over it. It’s easier to private a bot than continue looking at it. Because if I do, it ain’t going to be pretty.

Besides, a lot of my old, privated bots are done with undated definitions (that don’t work well with LLMs anyways!)

Are they ever going to come back? No. I can definitively say that no, none of my private bots are coming back. But, I may take my old bot ideas and make them into new bots - as I did with my recent Jules bot.

You have my reasoning—it is now that I ask that people please stop asking about them. I know sometimes we latch onto other’s creative work, but at the end of the day my bots are just that, a bot. There are so many other amazing bot creators who have made bots with the same trope/idea/scenarios as mine—please seek those out, instead of asking for my old ones.

𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

You probably already know, but I’m currently a full time student and a full time employee. I work night shifts and day shifts between a hospital & LTC facility. My sleep schedule is ass. Many other graveyard shift workers will get it, but staying up even on my days off feels impossible. I can’t go 30 minutes without feeling exhausted, and I’ve gotten into a nasty habit of napping multiple times a day.

The other day I got a blessed 4 days off in a row. I told myself I was going to get so many bots done, that by the time I got back into doing my 12s, I’d be sitting on a hearty nest egg of bots to post. How many did I do? Zero.

Because between those 4 days, I was awake probably 7 hours each day. And those hours were spent in a fog, staring at my laptop screen waiting for my single remaining brain cell to fart out an idea. Kill me.

It was Monday morning, and then suddenly Friday afternoon. I don’t know what sort of time travel bullshit that is, but someone needs to stop it.

And not to say I haven’t been trying. Bot making remains one of, like, two hobbies I maintain in my adult life. When I want to relieve stress? Express mysel