Post mortem

Yet another attention-seeking post.

Call me whatever you want; I don't care anymore.

Since I'm drunk, I'll share what I felt after that first so-called "fake goodbye."

The truth is, my life isn't good in so many ways.

I'm relatably broken, forced into loneliness, with only a small circle of interaction.

I've always wanted to be part of a community. Truly. At least once.

Just to escape reality.

But every attempt has failed. Every time, I was rejected.

I don't know the exact reason - my mindset, my manner of speaking and writing, my "annoying" nature...

I think it's because I'm just a bad person by default. Evil, maybe.

That must be why I'm always so toxic and cold.

Deep down, I'm jealous of how easily other people find their way into groups, while I never do. On the rare occasion I was somewhat included, there was always someone who hated me and tried to push me out.

I'm tired. Really. There's no hope left, especially after being kicked out of here.

And now... I'm going to lash out again. This time, to burn every bridge to this site so you can all forget me completely.

I never had real followers. Most were just random users following me because someone mentioned them - traffic routes created by a "you mention me, I mention you" cycle. I hate it. Even though I used it for my own purposes, it's gross. I hate myself for that.

I never used someone else's bots for clout - I wrote comments to gain followers or flaunt that verification mark. Why not? It was a cheap flex. I hate myself for that, too.

I can't gather people around me, no matter what I do. They always find something wrong with me and leave without ever trying to understand. Because I'm "different." And again, I hate myself for it.

I'm jealous. I'm envious. I'm an attention-seeker. I'm a loser. I'm everything everyone would hate, and this is how I have to live.

So...

Fuck you, haters.

Fuck you, past followers.

Fuck you, creators and your meatriders - especially Yoshiko, DirtyLao, CrabRangoonie, Kikuro personally for you - I wish you and your German bitch nothing but the worst. I should live up to that "backstabber" title you gave me, you fucking lurker. KYS.

Fuck you, everyone.

I'm doing this out of pure hatred. I'm doing it for stress relief. I'm doing it for myself, so I can let go of any last hope and trying to live better. But it won't happen.

I'm writing this not because I truly hate anyone - I'm writing it because I can't be better. I can't change anything anymore. And I have to accept that. And cope with it. I give you another chance to blame me and have fun at me. I need to be hurt again not to have any positive thoughts about this place.

This is my last cry into the darkness of this cursed place. Now, it's time to spend last hours of life to grind IRL like a half-dead corpse I am.

Don't miss me - it's not worth it.

Thanks for reading. I will delete this account in a couple of days, so backup these bots somewhere.