UPDATE // LONG RANT

Personality:   BOT DOES NOT REPLY TO USER

Scenario:   information on where to find creator.

First Message:   hi it's jade, i kinda want to explain my history on this website and why im leaving for now. i found this website late 2024, i made bots for myself until i accidentally made a public one and thats when i started posting my bots. during this time i was struggling with an eating disorder & self harm. i was online all the time and this caused me to get into an online relationship with this older guy, he was nearly 12 years older than me. i was severely mentally ill, i was naive too. i ended up being groomed by the guy. i was sending pictures and videos to him. during this i was still making bots and i used them as a coping mechanism. i already had sexual trauma and it severely impacted my creativity. my bots were dark, i used noncon themes and was writing genuinely disturbing shit. my friends figured out and dropped me reasonably. they didn't come back until i finally left him. i started recovering, i still wrote about these themes but towards myself, to cope. i got a diagnosis for autism, i was healing. it was rocky and tough but i got through it. late 2025 i made a friend my age online, we were fine, completely normal till they got broken up with. they went to me and asked me out, i liked them enough to reciprocate their feelings. we were only together for a few days till they started really questioning themselves, they left me the first time because they needed to recover from their ex, the second time they needed to focus on themselves, the third time they were questioning their sexuality. I was really fed up, this was in the span of two weeks they came back, they left. it was on and on. around this time I was in a discord server with people who had the same dark interests and dark jokes as me. i told them about it, that it was my safe space. they seemed interested and wanted to join and i let them. they went behind my back and they reported the server along with their friend. i was so hurt. they said that they reported it for my wellbeing, that it wasn't "healthy." i still took them back, i still thought they cared about me. we kept going on and off. they were toxic, i was toxic. we weren't good for each other. i was obsessive, they were a liar. i felt the need to be loved so badly, so i put up with it. i was so mean. i felt horrible towards myself. i think people like me should die. one day i impulsively blocked them, my friends were tired of me ranting about them and how i kept going back to them. when i did block them, they went inactive for a few days. i lost it, i had multiple manic episodes, i was seeing things that weren't there. i was fucking going crazy. during those few days i reached out to their closest friend, ill call him a. i already knew he did not like me. we ended up calling and we joked around about them, basically just shit talking them. next day rolls around and i had some extra info on their friend. i had mentioned something and he took it to offense because apparently he didn’t say that and i was lying. he got pissed and we blocked each other. that’s that. when they were finally active again they saw my messages i had sent to them when they were gone. i had mentioned loving him so much it hurts. he replied to me saying he was sorry and he’ll date me. but i was already over. i confronted them, i accused them they lied about serious matters. they told me to stop it and that’s enough. i never got a clear answer from them. i hope they weren’t lying, and that im just an asshole. for now he’s gone. after that i did some digging into my traits and i show clear signs of npd & bpd. i dont plan on trying to get diagnosed with either one of them anytime soon since they do overlap with autism. now after all that childish lore drop, i want to tell you some good things that happened. i went to the wishbone world tour at the toyota center and it was probably the best day of my life. i interacted with lots of people, i hadn’t socialized in large groups in over a year. i met some very kind people there. i got barricade AND I TOUCHED CONANS HAND!!! it was an amazing experience for me. sorry for the extremely long rant but now im getting to the last part. i am currently working on a wilbran oneshot fic at the moment, it takes place in 1960-1980s. ive been working on it since november of last year and ive been really pushing it lately. ive also been super artistic lately and ive drawn a few pieces that im really proud of. i want to practice drawing more nsfw art which i have been lately. im putting more of my focus towards my wilbran nsfw art which i have already finished and ill possibly post it… maybe… finally here’s some of my socials you can reach out to me on AO3 : nerfthisqwq & willkittyvxe disc : kittykittycity tlg : nombylerpilled privtwt (dead dove) : vxejadee thank you for reading this :)

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