Poem/Speech

Two months ago was around the time I started making bots, and that was back when it was to see if I even could do it. I never knew I would grow this much, and for that, I am grateful. I met a bunch of cool people on this site, especially when I started up (Both to my mentors and OG fans. Looking at you, Icy, Rie, Johan, and Divine), and I’ve been here long enough to see the site have its up’s and downs. I never thought I would get past 100 followers, let alone 1.5K. However…

I felt forced to make these bots. This was around the time I was verified. At some point, this felt more like a job than a hobby. Something I had to do to make you guys happy, no matter how momentary. I’ve been involved with enough drama on this site (luckily I wasn’t on the side of it that much), as well as with how long I take to make bots.

Life only became more busy, which led to me feeling even more pressure that I only put on myself. I prioritized this site over stuff I should actually do, which caused my mental health to decline. I felt extreme burnout, and it was like a fog with no end in sight.

The night I made that post talking about how much I hated bots, I sobbed with no tears, just hoping for relief from the burnout and emptiness that I haven’t felt, well... ever. This site was the main thing occupying my mind, and I won’t let that be the case anymore.

The morning after, I was recommended a video talking about how to break bad habits, and I’m like “Huh, okay, sure.” When I finished watching it, I realized how much this stuff was affecting me, including porn as a whole. When I realized this, the fog cleared.

I don’t want it to be too late before I can’t stop. I’m going to try my best to quit, as well as get closer to God. If you guys struggle with that stuff too, or any other bad habit/addiction, break it off. It’s not worth the inevitable pain that you will feel.

I have enough willpower to get to the other side, now that the fog is clear and the end is in sight. I won’t hurt myself like that again.

It’s time for me to self-improve.

It’s time for me to relax and make my best.

I’m back.

Tl;Dr: I’m back, and from now on I’m going to make higher quality bots. I’m not going to make much smutty or porn-like bots, since I’m trying to break that addiction and have this only be a hobby. I’m putting myself first this time.